Yesterday I had a business meeting scheduled to go over and update my resume. I needed help navigating, documenting, and presenting the responsibilities of my previous position. A friend agreed to take the time to help me with this task. I called her about an hour before our meeting and realized what an amazing friend she is.
I was calling to reschedule. Immediately she asks, “Is everything ok?” I actually surprised myself, “Yeah, everything is good!” I wasn’t rescheduling out of procrastination, fear, or some impending crisis. I rescheduled because I wanted to spend time working on Christmas gifts. It might not sound like it, but this was a huge landmark in my recovery. I didn’t force myself to do what I felt like “should” be done. Even more, I allowed myself to do something I wanted to do.
Much of my time has been consumed by doing the things that need to be done. As we all know, there are more of those “things” growing on the list than we can keep up with. But what we don’t always realize is how our perspective forces those things into seeming important. The result is an overload of tension and frustration, leading to a tendency to ignore our own true desires– which in reality might actually be more important. My friend recognized how significant it was for me to shift my priorities. I was making a responsible choice based on my own wants. The result of my decision continues to unfold as I let go of the drive that pushes me to do and causes me to miss out on being.
I spent the morning packaging and decorating gifts. I had a wonderful time, wrapping jars of homemade preserves in paper bags and ribbon, making cute little bird shaped labels, finishing Christmas cards, and venturing out to deliver the gifts and mail the cards. The joy was in doing, rather than getting done.
Later in the evening, I found myself sitting in the chair by the tree, just thinking. I wasn’t doing anything or thinking about anything in particular. I was just being. And being in the present is a necessary prerequisite of experiencing joy. I’m looking forward to holding onto this wonderful sense of being throughout the weekend and into the Christmas holiday. Nothing is more important than enjoying the time we have and the people we share it with. I wish each of my readers such exquisite moments of joy, peace, and love.