Grateful, Indeed

It has been one year.

One year of being self-employed.

One year of rearranging life.

One year of consciously stepping away from the patterns of overwork I relied upon for 15 years to drown out my thoughts, my emotions, my being.

In that cycle, I was unable to experience being.

I spent my time doing what needed to be done.

And when I wasn’t doing that,

I yearned for something other than reality:

I would say, “I just wish I had the time to…”

or “I wish I didn’t have to…”

or “If I could only…”

I realize now, that by overcoming my tendencies I have become aware of other priorities in life.

There is room for joy.

There is room for relaxation.

There is room to live life.

With all it has to offer.

For there is also room for stress.

And projects.

And even crises that inevitably occur.

And I am grateful.

For gratitude came when noticed all those old “I wishes” were no longer haunting me.

Instead, my reality became sprinkled with a feeling of contentment.

Contentment that allows me to experience my waking moments,

rather than wishing them away.

I am grateful, indeed.